Positivity, productivity, and insanity

I've been talking a lot about positivity here. I don't really do the whole new year's resolutions thing, but I try to pick one general thing that I'd like to focus on in the coming year. For me, this year it's positivity. I've been going through a lot of tough stuff and have trouble remaining positive. There are days when I just don't want to get out of bed (we all have those, huh?); days when I am so tired of having to work at keeping the momentum that I just want to give up. This is mostly related to the job search. However, I vow to not to let the whole process consume my life. Yes, I slip here and there, but overall I really want to try to focus on other things around me, while putting energy and effort into the search but not letting it take over and interrupt everything else.

I think this is why I've been so continuously productive when it comes to my hobbies, especially quilting. As I struggle through the job search process, there is very little result, especially tangible result. By quilting, not only do I use a different part of my brain, but I also throw myself into the task at hand (ie. distracting myself from the negative thoughts/anxiety), but also work toward a tangible goal that feels good in the process. As many of you know, if you've been in - or are currently in - similar situations, searching for jobs and submitting applications is incredibly tedious. It also makes you feel very vulnerable, especially when you see a negative response (or no response at all - so common). By quilting, I'm not only able to work through a process/task that brings enjoyment, but also results in something! When we create, endorphins are released - who wouldn't want an opportunity to feel that?!You end up with an actual result for all that effort and hard work. I know that eventually, the job search will end up essentially the same way, as I will have a job (not tangible, but definitely a result).

For now, in order to keep the insanity/negativity/anxiety away, I just keep on creating.